1-1-13

Need to write something before today ends. Have to publish an entry, so that, the one on 30-12-12 can come below this entry. It should be published, to get it out of me. So much loss and gain. I know time will heal the pain, will dry the dam of warm fluid behind my eyes. Asiah Salleh, if you read about this, don't ask/make any reference about it to my other half. He is still grieving and we are living thru the grief differently. 

Those who were peculiarly special sometime did not stay for long. Then, we'll miss them crazy. We forgot that we were blessed by their presence. I tried to stop my tears, for pining for the loss one is actually being selfish or greedy. There are others, but the lost one was unique and special in its own way. The talking and interactive one, and none other was like that. Demanding. We were busy to give too much attention. If only we'd knew. Sometime, may be I knew, it would end this way. This entry was about such reflection.

It was Tutti that worried me. But Boy, in the end I'd say: You're such a good boy.
This pain I am feeling is conceiving something that I'll dedicate to you.